If Remember that a marriage is a union of two people, so finding solutions to your marriage problems together is essential. These problems cannot be solved by just one of you.
Here are some tips that can help bring you together and increase the chances of your marriage lasting:
- No marriage is perfect. Unlike fairy tales, typical marriages have their flaws just like each of us do. Do not expect plain sailing all the way. Accept that there will be choppy waters ahead.
- Marriage requires work and both of you need to realize that it will take work to make a marriage strong. The more work that you put into your marriage can result in an honest and happy marriage. If you do not take this seriously, it can be detrimental. The areas that typically need the most work involve trust and respect in one another. Without these things, your marriage will fall apart.
- Communicate and listen effectively. Create an environment where you can talk to each other without getting upset. Speak calmly and clearly about how you feel and allow your spouse to do the same. Make sure to listen to what they have to say, regardless of what they say. Discuss how each of you feels and find common ground where both of you feel that you can find solutions for issues you are facing. The more open and honest you are with each other, the better.
- Do not dwell on past problems. Do not let past mistakes or misunderstandings determine the future of your marriage. While your past problems may be quite serious, dwelling on them will not help your marriage. Focus on the here and now and take each day as it comes.
- Be more charitable to one another. Be thoughtful of each others needs and feelings. You can do caring gestures to simply show that you are thinking of them. If you are unsure as to what you should do for your spouse, ask them what you can do to make them happy. Doing something that will make them feel loved and special can go a long way towards strengthening your marriage. Sometimes doing the simplest things can mean the most to them.
If you have tried all of the above and still are asking how to save my marriage, a professional marriage counsellor may be your best option. The decision to go to a counsellor must be made by both of you as it will not work if you both do not contribute fully.
If you are both truly committed to making changes to save your marriage, a counsellor can offer unbiased advice to help you. Getting advice from a professional may help you see your problems in a different light and help you find solutions. Try an online counsellor first. Good luck!